No speed limits here
by rookieD
Summary: (Post 4.13) The Sam Swarek comeback tour has a special guest star. (aka Sam's first shift back at 15 has McNally in knots).


_A/N: thanks to all who read, faved, and reviewed that other thing I posted a few days back. Your thoughts are always inspiring fodder to continue to write. Sincere apologies that I haven't thanked you all by PM...unfortunately time is not a great friend of mine these days. As was the other, this one was written at a ridiculous hour._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue, just an over-active imagination when it comes to these fools._

* * *

Sam's first shift back, Andy can't help herself. She sticks to him like glue, watches his moves like a hawk. Volunteers for desk duty of all things. All so she can carry out the task of keeping an eye on how he's doing -

(Oliver looked like he'd won the lottery when she put up her hand. He and that crisp new white shirt of his have been left to cope with what has become the difficult task of pairing harmonious partners since...

Well, since.

But while Oliver may have been thrilled at Andy's apparent enthusiasm for not being out on the street, not everyone was. Sam, for example, gave her a raised eyebrow. And Nick gave a raised eyebrow to Sam -

Not that Andy noticed what Nick was doing, she was too busy returning her eyebrows to Sam).

Only then, desk duty turned out not as she'd planned. Exactly 28 minutes and 14 seconds into riding the desk, she realizes that where she's stationed is too far away - Not that she was counting or anything...

But she may have been keeping an eye on the clock.

She strains her neck to get a good look into Sam's office. From where she's seated she can tell he's at the filing cabinet. No doubt rearranging any system Steve and Trace have designed.

She can check out his backside from this distance and angle, admire the way his jeans fit exceptionally well. This gives her a sense of satisfaction at least until her first coffee runs dry.

Oliver is the first one to catch her ogling one of the finest features of the man she adores. Catches her off guard so much so that she nearly falls off her chair.

"Everything in order there, McNally?" he interrupts, pen tap-tapping at the top of the screen she is using as a ruse.

Andy feels a hot blush cross her face. "Uh, yes. Everything's perfect...sir. Perfect" she replies, checking one last time on Sam's ass before she tilts her chair back to a safer position. She looks at the dark screen in front of her, tries to make out some words. "I was just about to ask Detective Swarek to cross check some evidence about a J-walking incident Officer Diaz wrote up."

Her efforts aren't entirely lost on Oliver. He nods his comprehension of the situation at length, looks for all the world as though he's expecting her to handover her donuts or else he'll tell Sam. "Very thorough, McNally. I can see you were trained by the best."

The senior officer departs with the smallest of smirks, shaking his head as he goes. "You're back on the streets tomorrow, McNally," Oliver calls over his shoulder. "That rookie of yours won't train himself."

So, apparently the novelty of _desk-jockey McNally_ has worn off on the new staff sergeant too.

Andy returns not long after the instruction to consider her more pressing predicament. Eventually she decides that having a nice view of her boyfriend's derrière is not nearly enough compensation for the kind of reassurance she's needing right now.

So. She wanders in to his office (every 20 minutes or so...just to check he's still breathing, that he hasn't taken a shot). To ask him questions, about work, and...a few other things.

_Have you ever tried to read Dov's handwriting? _

_Have they changed the speed limit on Queen? _

_What are your thoughts on Chicken Parma and leafy greens for dinner tonight? _

Sam gives her a dimpled smile each time she comes through his door. He responds to her warmly, but maintains a professional space; "yes"; "no"; "sounds perfect to me."

His eyebrows climb just that little bit higher each time she's there, all in all though it looks like he's itching to kiss her, so she's fairly certain she's got a free pass; Season tickets to the Detectives office, that kind of thing.

Andy beams upon each answers she is given. She is genuinely delighted to be working by Sam's side again. Is truly happy he's back on the job. Especially considering how badly he's wanted to be back this past couple of weeks. Sam loves this gig, and Andy loves Sam. But, even those thoughts can't erase the niggle Andy has in her gut -

Every once in a while, she gets intel from a colleague. Anyone that walks in and out of Sam's office - that is, the times she's not in there as well. "You didn't add to his workload, did you?" she hisses at Chris, who has been assigned to running errands between the three detectives: Sam, and the other two that are out on the streets. "Trace is picking up the slack, right?"

Her colleagues look at her sympathetically when she interrogates them. Chris even goes so far as to buy her a hot chocolate. "Thought this might help with your nerves.."

"I'm not nervous," she snaps -

Then drowns the back of her throat with the warm liquidy goodness in one fell swoop anyway.

It's on Andy's fifth visit to the _Sam's-first-hours-back _show that he calls her on it. His demeanour changes, ever so slightly. He pushes off his desk, scratches at the back of his neck.

"Did I tell you how good you look in that shirt?" Andy blurts, hoping to distract Sam from whatever he's about to say. She swipes her hand up and down mid air a few times. If it weren't for the fact that her feet seem like they're stuck in cement, she'd be in front of him by now. She'd be smoothing at that blue cotton he's wearing, having a good and proper feel at the rise and fall of his chest.

He takes a careful step toward her, bites into his lip. And before she knows it, he's taking yet another step in - until they're standing the closest they've been since parting ways at the locker rooms this morning.

Andy focuses on her breathing, tries not to let Sam's aftershave make it's way up her nose. Too much of that and she'll want to take that nice shirt of his off - She tries even harder not to think about that '_have a good day' _kiss he gave her before she put her uniform on.

He takes her hand, circles it inside his. Then he raises her arm slowly, kisses softly at the palest flesh inside her wrist. "Thought we talked about this," he murmurs, sometime after his lips leave her skin.

Andy swallows. Watches Sam watching the lump work it's way down her neck. "What?" She defends, pretending she doesn't know what on earth he could be talking about. She starts avoiding eye contact with him, instead looking at photographs of evidence that lay on his desk. "Thought I'd check in, see if you want me to go get you some lunch." The evidence she's looking at is _gruesome_, so she shifts her eyes back to Sam's.

He nods once, jaw tensing. He amuses her though. Plays along with the game. He takes another step forward, looks over her shoulder to a spot out the door. He's basically got himself so close to Andy by now that his chest's bumping hers. His face tilts forward, in a not dissimilar manner to how it usually does when he gives her a kiss. Like the one she was thinking about mere seconds ago.

Andy closes her eyes, waits.

Tips up her chin. And waits some more.

She senses his mouth as it starts moving...

"Let's go get hot dogs," he says, voice quiet and steady, perhaps a little bemused?

Andy's heart skips a beat, then goes double time, catching up to answer it's call to arms. She pops open her eyes. Feels them go wide. She stares up at Sam. "You mean, like. Go _out_?"

And, of course, it's not as though they haven't been outside the station before. Successfully, at that. They have. Plenty of times. It's just...if they venture out now...well...it's the _first_ time they'll be outside the station after the first time Sam's been _inside_ the station, since he got _shot_ -

She considers how much convincing it might take to get him to wear a vest. It's a pity she wasn't successful with her attempt at that this morning near the locker rooms. (The time he distracted her mouth with his.)

Sam pokes his tongue inside his cheek. Scans her face carefully, clearly counting out cues. "Yeah, McNally," he says, casual as the weather. "I'll even pay. Call it a date if you want."

Andy purses her lips, not entirely pleased with Sam's infuriating capacity not to worry about all the things that might happen to him walking these corridors or while they're out at some fleabag diner. Or worse still, a street vendor. All sorts of horrible images of Sam lying flat on the pavement rush through her mind. "Or I could just bring it to you," she suggests, voice shaking and one hand waving uselessly as though to emphasize her take-away skills.

He stares at her. Eventually licks his lips. He definitely knows to some degree what's going on here. "Maybe we should send Diaz or Epstein," his voice goes low. He narrows his eyes. "Save ourselves, put their lives at risk?"

Andy scowls. She'd shove his chest, if it weren't for the consequences that type of action conjures up in her brain. Seriously. It wouldn't be the first time today she worried about what things might make his heart stop again. "Sam..." She pleads, irritated that he can't see she's acting in his best interests. For starters, she's just trying to help him get through this day unscathed.

"McNally," he replies, very much like he might be about to teach her a lesson. He closes in on her again, the height difference between them seeming so much more than it is. It's not only his chest invading her now, it's his hips too.

Andy looks up at him, tries to give herself some room to breathe by placing a gentle palm right near his heart. "Sam," she tries again, a little less confident. "It's your _first_ day, okay. I just think you need to _ease_ back into things... I _know_ we talked about it..."

(They did too. It's been a central point of conversation for the last 3 days, since Sam got the all clear.

Only last night they had a quiet conversation, Andy perched up on Sam's knee - "If it's one thing we did well last year, it was work together...Andy, I know you're a good cop. I trust you...I trust the decisions you make," he told her, his arms wrapped tight around her centre. "I know...I know I've gone a bit nuts with my over-protective nature before, and I'm working on that..")

"And I know I'm being a bit of a fruitcake today, okay?" Andy tells him now, hand sliding down his sternum to rest on the top of his belt. "It's just...it's just...it's your _first_ day back...and it's _harder_ than I thought." She swallows again, realizes it's time to confess. "Every time a damn door closes, I see you in a pool of blood all over again." Her eyes search Sam's, keep watch as his expression softens. She really doesn't want him worrying about her worrying...but they've agreed they're in this together. For better or worse. She's not hiding _anything_ that he needs to see.

Sam looks authentically shocked. His whole face goes serious and his voice heartbreakingly gentle. "Andy..." He takes the hand she's got on his belt, now holds both of them tight. "Why didn't you say something before?"

She shakes her head and exhales. "Because it hasn't been like this before," she answers earnestly, trying to get her thoughts straight about her emotions while she's directing the sentence at Sam. "You've been recovering. You haven't been _here_." She swallows yet another lump in her throat, is almost embarrassed about the extent of the feelings that have hit her this morning. "It's just...I guess some things aren't resolved. I didn't realize I'd feel like _this_ with you back in the place you almost got killed."

Sam let's out a breath of his own. The tail edge of it leaves a trail of warm air on her cheek. "I...Andy..." His whole face appears to be a battle of thoughts. He closes his eyes, just for one beat. "I'm sorry I joked before, Andy. This is serious...I didn't think...well, you've been working here okay for weeks now...getting on with your job...excelling even, from what Ollie says..."

She shakes her head, ferocious. "No...Sam...I swear to god, I have been telling the truth to you and the psychologist. I'm coming to terms with what happened...it's just..._today_. I really didn't think about ...and you _here_...and it's not your fault...okay...I just..." Andy knows she's talking in circles, but is pretty sure Sam can pick up her thread -

(It's another thing they talk about: their sessions with the psychologist. What comes up for them there. Their individual sessions have definitely helped them talk to one another about things they might not have before.)

He nods, rubs a hand reassuringly up and down one of her arms. "Okay, Andy, it's okay...not your fault either, you know? This kind of...neither of us are immune to things cropping up at any time...I'm glad you've got my back..."

She nods, let's the couple of tears in her eyes run right to the rims. It's not like her Psych major hasn't given her a decent understanding of how trauma works. It's just - Well, she's always expected so much of herself. Especially when she's got the uniform on. Doesn't want to let her emotions get in the way of the job. Learned last year what exactly was eating at Sam...

How it's so hard to protect everyone, when you love one person more than the rest-

She sucks in some air, feels out Sam's ribs. He's helping calm her down by wiping his thumbs under her eyes. She looks back up at him after several minutes of having her eyes cast down at his boots. "Will you come with me to my psych appointment this afternoon?"

Sam nods an affirmative instantly. "Absolutely, Andy...and whatever else you need too, okay?" He bends his knees a little so he's right at her level. "One day at a time, remember? One second at a time if we have to. That's how we're doing this."

Andy takes another deep breath, nodding.

"Do you want me to ask Ollie if you can work with me on these files...just for today? I mean...it's not like I couldn't use a spare pair of eyes," Sam asks, treading carefully maybe so as not to seem as though he's enabling the problem.

She shakes her head slowly. "No...no...just...as long as you're here. With me." She fidgets with his belt, then loops her fingers to hold on. She hitches the thumb of her other hand over her shoulder; "I should get back to it...there's a lot of paperwork to get done."

Sam smiles small. "Okay...but if you need anything...just...I really don't mind you coming in here..." He wraps a careful arm around her waist, pulls her in for a hug. "It'll get easier, you know?"

Andy nods her face into Sam's chest, let's herself have the moment of reassurance that things really will get easier. She already feels better having said something to Sam sooner rather than later. She's already come so far in _many_ respects this past couple of months. _They've_ come so far since that god-awful day. "I know."

Sam untangles her out of his arms eventually, kisses her on the edge of her mouth. "Love you."

Andy pushes up on her toes, kisses Sam soft on the cheek. "Love you too.," she whispers. "And...thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for," Sam replies, still holding on to her hands. "Now...how we gonna get to our hot dogs? I'm starving."

Andy considers the options, wants to start getting on top of her irrational concerns, psych session forthcoming or not. "Fresh air _would_ be nice..." She says, tapping her fingers on her chin. "But you're putting a vest on, okay?"

Sam smiles small again, rubs at her back. Eventually he nods, gives her another light kiss. "Deal. And just to be on the safe side you'd better hold my hand too."

_end_


End file.
